this world will never satisfy….

May 24, 2010 at 11:32 am (Brokenness, God, Insufficiency of Man)

I sit here with a strange feeling empty feeling..a feeling that I have never had after a tv show.  I graduated from seminary in May 2008.  The next week, I began a journey through a TV series that would be like none other.  For the 3 months of that summer, me and 2 friends watched 4 seasons of Lost.  My every thought that summer was Lost..I was scared “the others” would jump out of the bushes in front of my house in Highland Park.  Lost was everything.  Then came season 5, then season 6 – the last season.  Once a week, the past 2 Springs, I have watched Lost.  Then ran home and read blogs, listened to podcasts, read articles…I studied for a tv show!  What was this thing I was watching?  This year, Lost Talk at the YL office on Wednesday at 10:15 am – time to process, think and discuss.  Dorks, yes I know.

Then tonight happened.  The end.  4.5 hours of Lost.  Now, Jimmy Kimmel talking about Lost.  The finale, it’s over.  6 seasons, 6 years, hours of studying, processing, discussing, missed sleep because of thinking and wondering, 6 seasons of confusion = right now.  And I am left now with an empty strange feeling…because this world will never satisfy.

It’s a feeling like I have after all the wonderful Christmas presents that costs hundreds or thousands of dollars have been unwrapped and you think, “Is this it?”  The things of this world will never satisfy.  There is a longing and a desire and a deep knowing that there is more to this life.  Its like what Solomon says after acquiring all the world has to offer and says that it is all meaning less.

Is Lost bad?  No!  By any means!  This tv show has been wonderful!  But it is a strange feeling to have after a tv show is over.

Paralleled with boys – they will never ultimately satisfy.  I long for love.  But when I find out a boy that I am close to (or so I thought), is visiting my state but didn’t tell me about it, I hurt.  May 11 – I talked to this boy and at the end of our discussion, knew I needed to write him off in my heart.  And I did, or so I thought.  But then I find out he is in my state but he didn’t tell me..even though I asked him about coming here when we last talked and he said it didn’t look like he was coming.  That was 2 weeks ago..maybe he bought a last-minute ticket, i don’t know.  But it just hurts that I wasn’t even important enough for him to even tell me about it.  So again, this world doesn’t satisfy.  Boys, tv shows, books they all leave me with an empty feeling when they are over…

There is only 1 thing that can fill me completely.  The Lord is all that will ever completely satisfy.  Why do I consistently try to pour myself into other things while knowing they will not ultimately satisfy me?   Will I ever learn or will I always be looking for the things of this world to fill me?  Lord, take my heart and make it yours!


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